Fear of Failure

"Do one thing every day that scares you."
~Eleanor Roosevelt 

I am one of those people who
thinks 10 steps ahead before
I make any kind of decision.
Sort of kills the notion of spontaneity
sometimes, but, even in high school, I was always the one
in the group afraid of breaking the rules.
I tried to make sure we didn't get into
trouble or dangerous situations, 
made sure we got home by curfew.

But there can be flaws to this kind of over-thinking.
You can contemplate decisions so much that, in doing so,
you don't make any.  And soon you are frozen in this place
of constant worry and inaction.

This is something I have always struggled with.  In doing anything,
there is the possibility of failure.  But, then again, the same can 
be said about success.  But why do I see the picture of failure
so much more clearly?  Because I choose to.

The reasons are different for everyone.  Because of experiences 
we've had throughout our lives, little things we've seen and
internalized without even realizing it.  But this is a battle 
we face with every decision we make.  Do we 
want to succeed or will we let ourselves fail?  
This is the difference between truly living and 
just imagining a brilliant life we somehow believe we can 
never have, or worse, feel we don't deserve.

So how do we overcome this?  

By doing.  Trying.  Challenging ourselves.  
For me, it helps knowing I have a support system
around me.  People who believe in me and want me
to succeed and flourish.  People who will help
me get back up when I've fallen.  Art and writing
have also pushed me to those places.  Understanding
why I am so afraid of something.  Looking deeper into
my fears and realizing they don't have as much weight
as I initially thought.  At the end of the day, at the end
of our lives, will we be able to accept that we haven't chased
our dreams and reached for our full potential?  Our will we
sit back with our feet up, smiling, reveling in the beauty of
all we have achieved.  I think I know which one sounds better
to me.  

Comments

[Scotty]

"...why do I see the picture of failure so much more clearly? Because I choose to." Nice. So true. I see the way you reason through things and the way you pose a question to yourself and then answer it so beautifully in how you live your life more and more every day. Keep going, grasshopper... You are the change you want to see in the world!

[Ciullaluna.wordpress.com]

& that Eleanor quote ROCKS!!

[Ciullaluna.wordpress.com]

I like reading your posts after I write mine to see what is similar what is different ~ We both used the word "dangerous" ... We both touched upon the idea of "deserving success" ~ Many times while reading yours, I thought "that is what I was trying to say!" :) you have a gift for capturing a specific feeling and bringing to the present with your words! I am glad you are living "dangerously" & doing what you are good at! :)