Poemfish

Seeing Red

 

A Bit of Hope

 

"I'm a new soul, I came to this strange world
hoping I could learn a bit 'bout how to give and take.
But since I came here, felt the joy and the fear,
finding myself making every possible mistake . . ."
- From song "New Soul" by Yael Naim

We all make mistakes.  There are moments, days,
months when we find ourselves lost and filled
with regret and dread.  But those moments alone
don't define us.  They are simply part of our
journey on this messy, confusing, undefined road.

We are defined by who we are when we finally emerge
from that dark place and what we do with the lessons
we have learned. 

We can't be afraid to change direction when things
aren't working, when our heart has grown heavy
from something we thought we once loved.  There
is love all around us, in quiet, unexpected places,
waiting to tap our heart on the shoulder and show
us all the beauty we still have yet to see.

Gratitude

  

Some days it's enough
to just follow your heart
to the beauty of the
quiet places it leads you ~
walking through a garden
as tiny raindrops whisper
against your skin, sitting
next to a pool of water
that smells like summer,
eating a bagel at the dining
room table and sitting across
from the person you love most
in this world.  Today was about
absorbing those moments as they
happened and being so grateful
for all the simple things that
bring me such contentment and
joy.  Wishing you the same . . .

Run. Pee.

I discovered a cool website today that
recommends good times to get up for
a restroom break during a movie. 
I tried it out tonight when we went
to see Transformers 2 and it worked
pretty well.  It's a simple concept,
but for someone like me, who has a
pretty small bladder and usually struggles
at the theatre between needing to get up
and not wanting to miss anything, it's
a pretty handy site.

I'll never forget sitting in the
theater during The Last Samurai and
feeling like my bladder might literally explode.
But I was adamant about not missing a thing,
convinced the movie would end at any moment,
but it seemed to go on and on. 

Of course, in retrospect, I should have
just gotten up, but I chose to sit in that
little seat and suffer.  Well, not any more.
Check it out:  www.runpee.com
See for yourself.

Hold tight

 

Driving home from dinner tonight,
I watched a little girl, preoccupied with
the pattern on the pavement outside a store,
bump into someone and almost dart out into the
street.  Luckily the person she bumped into
made the little girl look up and run towards
her mother, who was several feet away engrossed
in a cell phone conversation.  I wanted to gather
up that little girl and keep her safe.  I wanted
to shake some sense into her mother. 

It made me think of when I was young, whenever
my dad took us out (me, my 3 older brothers & my
older sister) he would always say, "Grab a pocket,"
and we would instinctively know to grab one of his
jeans pockets if his hands were already taken.  I'm
sure it looked funny, this mob of an adult and 5 kids
all attached like one giant octopus.  But I loved it.
The safety, the fun, tucking my little fingers into his
back pocket, the smell of those Wrangler jeans
synonymous with my father. 

It's easy to forget about those tiny moments that
add up to so much.  Walking safely into Bamberger's
or the Pathmark with my dad, knowing if I was with him
I was safe and loved.  Teaching me lessons I never realized
would dictate how I care and love for my own children
someday.  And then one night, driving home from dinner,
you see someone lose sight of their child, and it reminds you
how important those moments were. And how grateful it feels
to be reminded of them now.

A new beginning . . . 30 blogs . . . 30 days

  

Like most things, the longer I stay away
from my blog, the harder it is for me to
think about writing one.  Not sure why
I've been in such a funk, but I've decided
to return to the good old "30 blogs in 30
days" challenge to get myself back in the
routine.  Be gentle.  Be patient.  I am on
my way back, unsure of what's ahead, but
as I've done in the past, I hope to find my
way through words . . .

Ride on

 

For someone who is usually a joyful, creative soul,
I can be extremely uptight.  There is a part of me
that is totally structured and scared to death
of being spontaneous or breaking "rules." 

My husband and I took our bikes to the local
bike shop for a tune up this week ~ we haven't ridden
them in years ~ and my husband decided he wanted to
ride one of the bikes home.  He was like a little kid ~
happy and excited to ride his bike again. 
But as soon as he suggested this I tensed up. 
I mean, this wasn't part of the plan.  And I
was immediately upset by the idea.

So, I would have to drive home alone?  What if I got lost?
I wasn't really paying attention when we drove there.
Wasn't it too far for him to ride home?  I was sure he
would fall or get hit by a car and end up hurt, maybe
lying on the side of the road with some horrible
injury.  When I tried to reason that we should just drive
home with the bike, the guys in the bike shop laughed. 
They sarcastically said, "Yeah, you don't want to be one
of those people that rides your bike everywhere."

I tried to explain to them that Jerred has a
tendency to overdo it.  He'd push too hard or want
to do some trick with the bike and end up hurt.
But they laughed off my concerns and just shook their heads.

Of course I made it home fine in the car and so did Jerred
on his bike.  And thinking about it later that night,
I was disappointed that I hadn't been more supportive,
that I didn't share in his excitement of wanting to get back
on that bike and feel the world spinning past him.

So this is my reminder to loosen up a bit and not get
so lost in what I think I should be doing that I forget
how to live a joyfully messy life.